It has been a while since my last post. I wasn’t even sure if I am up for writing again. But today is such a fine day, so I thought why not. Let’s write something. So here I am now writing to you while gazing at this amazing blue sky right in front of me, a warm cup of tea next to me, and the sound of nature (plus the keyboard typing haha) surrounding me. I want to take a moment to appreciate all of this. How lucky am I? Alhamdulillah
For the past few months, I have embarked on a new journey, a fresh start one can say, on the next phase of my short, short life. So far it has been a lot of things, and easy is not one of them. Every single day I have been forced to step out of my comfort zone. Fear and anxiety work their way through me pretty much every moment of the day. I am exhausted physically and emotionally. I feel like running away all the time, to escape the responsibility that comes unforgivingly. And I am struck with loneliness, more often than I would have thought, on this journey for one.
Hold up, relax
Let me stop myself there before I get too grave and dramatic. I tend to be a drama queen sometimes 😉 Anyways guys please LOOK at these three beautiful succulents I have in my room. I do not have names for them, but the cactus on the left definitely looks like a prickly bear chilling down in a small pool yeah? CUTE
PS: You probably should know though that not everything is pretty on the net. The plant on the right side died after about a week in =_=
Yes, everything that I mentioned above still holds true. I think there is no point in belittling or ignoring our pain because we think it makes us weak. We have to acknowledge it, embrace it and work with it. So imma just put it out there, yes I am struggling, but I am also still fighting to be better every single day. Some days are tougher than others, but hey, I am still alive and trying my damn best. And I think that is all there is to it.
I guess what I am trying to say here, without diving too much into the gory details of my line of work, is that everyone struggles and that is the nature of life. As a reminder to myself first and foremost, and also to the rest of you who may also be struggling in whatever aspects of your life currently,
IT IS OKAY
YOU ARE DOING ABSOLUTELY FINE
THIS PAIN IS NOT FOREVER
YOU WILL GET THERE, WE ALL WILL
And while it is true that this journey is for us to embark alone, how we choose to feel about it is an entirely different story. I realize that a lot of the times, the loneliness that I felt is mostly when I forgot that I have Allah with me. It is when I forget His Mercy is bigger, greater than all of you and me. And He will never burden his servants with anything that they could not handle.
Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief
Now if you are not a person of faith, that is totally up to you. Find your comfort at your own pace. We are all wanderers in this life, and I pray that all of us will find our way back to the truth, comfort, and love that we deserve.
On another side note, missing home a little bit more today.